Why Positive Affirmations Don’t Work for YOU

So,  You’ve bought into all of the new age hipster techie ideas that if you  just speak positive things and think positive thoughts, that your life will magically change.  Money will come to you;  jobs will beat your door down because they desperately need you; your children will become perfect angels; and your spouse will miraculously become the most attentive they have ever been.

But what happens when none of those things happen?  You’ve been using creative visualization every night.  You’ve got sticky notes all over your walls and mirrors.  You even spend time looking at your fancy vision board that you created.  But you are no closer to reaching your goals and dreams that you were before you started.  I have the secret to your failure.  Yes, you read that right,  I have the secret to your failure.  You are failing to have all of those things because you don’t believe that you can have them.

The mind is a powerful entity.  It doesn’t have to figure out how to cause your heart to beat, or how to make your lungs pump  precious oxygen into your blood.  Your brain doesn’t have to remember every day how to walk, talk or do the  most  basic things. The same goes for your beliefs.  While most of your physiological actions are a part of your DNA or you learned them as a baby,  your beliefs are built up over time. Your brain works like this.  If you touch fire,  your brain registers that fire is hot.  So the next time you see fire,  you know that it will hurt you.  The same goes for things such as lack mindsets,  struggle mindsets or the opposite,  success mindsets and wealth and abundance mindsets.  You have trained your mind to believe certain things.   For example.  If you have only had minimum wage paying jobs that you hated, then you have trained your mind to believe that you are always going to get a minimum wage job and that you will hate it.  So then, for every job possibility, your brain is looking to prove that thought to be true.  Speaking positive affirmations in this situation is only going to strengthen your brain’s belief that it already held.

How do you change my mindset, you are probably wondering? You have to change it by accepting what you have held as true.  Don’t deny your truth.  Don’t run from it.  Don’t even pretend that it doesn’t exist.  Instead,  I’m going to ask you to do something that may seem counter intuitive, but is the key to breaking your brain and rewiring it.  Write down all of your negative beliefs and really sit with each one.  Let it marinate in your thoughts for a while and allow yourself to recognize that it is in fact, something that you do believe, have believed and probably would believe forever IF you hadn’t acknowledged it in this way.  Once you have done that,  I would like for you to go a step further and drill down to the original source of that belief.  Did your parents tell you that you would only work a minimum wage job because your grades sucked in school?  Did your parents only get those types of jobs and so you feel that you are relegated to following in their footsteps? Perhaps a teacher or some other influential authority figure in your life told you that you had to start from the bottom and only if you were perfect, would you be able to break past the minimum wage ceiling.

No matter where the thought originated,  I want you to own it.  Whether it came from yourself, or someone else.  Say it out loud.  Speak what the original belief that was placed in your brain’s wiring.  Now, here’s the caveat.  Look for the real truth.  What was the actual factual truth that could be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt at the very moment that the thought was planted into your subconscious mind? Maybe your grades were bad,  but maybe you had a learning disability.  Or, maybe your learning style was drastically different from your teachers style of teaching.  Were you actually a just bored because you were far advanced and you simply didn’t participate because you were bored to tears, so instead you doodled and imagined other more advanced things?

No matter what the truth was,  embrace the truth.  THAT is your new affirmation.  That truth is the one that you have to remind yourself of.  Start off saying it in the past tense until it feels real to you.  Affirm that as a child you were a genius,  advanced years beyond what the school system was capable of teaching you.  You’ll feel the shift when it occurs.  Something will click and you will know that the new truth, which was actually the original truth has taken root.  Once that happens, shift your thoughts to the present.  At this point, you have a new foundation of belief and you can build a present truth upon that.  So you were a child genius who was pushed to the side.  Your current truth may be that while you have  been working these minimum wage jobs, you have been learning management skills all along and that now you are ready to start applying for, accepting and succeeding at those types up jobs.  Affirm that you are worthy of salaried positions and management positions, even ownership and executive level careers.  If you haven’t put in the education work, research what you need to have in order to work at the level that you would like to and then take actions.  Just like with the initial truth,  you will recognize when the present affirmations take root.

Run with that.  It is at this point that you can grow your future and affirm things that you will believe and accomplish.  Try this and do each phase for  days each.  If you do this consistently,  in  42 days, your life will have changed for the better.  You may not be an instant millionaire, but you will notice a change.  Try it and please come back and share your results.  Tell us what shifted in your life and what positive affirmations did to help you create a life that you deserve to live.

How To End Afterschool Snack Drama

Get your after school snacks together, mom.

I don’t know about you, but without supervision and portioning, my kids would run through snacks in no time. My kids are like most,  they would rather eat a bunch of random snacks than to eat a meal.

Because I keep fairly healthy snacks in my home it’s not always a bad thing.  for example,  Saturday mornings when there is no more milk for cereal or Friday nights when we have game night and just snack throughout the evening.

Too much snacking can get expensive though. I’m working in saving more and managing my finances better by doing a financial challenge.  I’ll share more about that some other time. In the meantime try this tip with your snacksters. If you do it,  tag #singlemomsuccess365 in your social media posts.

I bought lots of snacks this past weekend.  They usually go pretty fast because I would let the kids get their own portions and I usually say yes when they ask if they can get a snack. Well times are changing.  I’m cutting corners everywhere and making my home run more efficiently. It takes time,  but it is so worth it.

Here,  I’ve organized the snacks on the shack shelf by giving each kid an equal amount of snacks.  each child has their own basket with their name on it.  if they sneak into their snacks before I replenish them,  they will only be cheating themselves.  No more running out of snacks and not knowing who was a little extra with their snacking.